TANNER: Chris, I'm sorry if you don't like cherry coke, but our student center has limited flavors and that was the one I liked the most so hopefully you can at least tolerate it. I apologize if it came off as a creepy gesture but I promise I didn't drug it or anything. Also, I had a better thought out and more clever introduction planned in case I met you, except that when I actually met you I think I blacked out and instead said the first things that I could think of... So hopefully I didn't come off as some stalker who wants to cut off all your skin and wear it like a dress because I really don't. I first heard about you at the beginning of this summer in an article about the Diddy episode and your show sounded so ridiculous that I wanted to see what the fuck was actually going on and since then I've been a huge fan of you and your show and I've tried to describe how awesome it is to anybody who will listen (the first episode I recommend is "One Man's Trash" as it was literally one of the best and most suspenseful 45 minutes of television I've ever watched (except I think it would've been even funnier if Shannon was there too that day...)). I really do think that you're one of the realest motherfuckers on TV and I think you're doing a real service to a lot of people by bringing up shit nobody else wants to talk about. Unfortunately, I as well as several of my friends have been through some really hard times, but it's people like you who show people like us that it's ok to let shit out and that it's important to deal with these things. The worst thing you can do is bottle it all up and ignore it, so thank you for talking about, including the shrink joke tonight! ND isn't the best university concerning mental health but you've made it one joke easier to start a discussion so thank you Chris! Also, as a senior film and television student, I'm hoping to enter into the industry very soon, and it's creative and talented people like you and your team who show me it's cool to be yourself, even if yourself is super fucking weird. With so many shows (especially talk shows) following the same kinda-superficial formula week by week, I love that you don't give a fuck about what you're "supposed to do." Fuck the fucking monologues man! Like I said before, I think The Chris Gerhard (sic) Show is one of if not the best show on TV these days, and I'd consider myself very very lucky if I ever get to work on a show or a film that's just half as awesome and ridiculous as your show. So please have a season 3 because I need to sit on the floor for a live show one day! Also, I'll be honest, after the season 2 finale, I almost cried just at the thought of there not being a season 3, so please don't make me cry. As for the show tonight, I apologize that that was the worst venue you've ever played in and I apologize that the audience wasn't much better. But I think you killed it and all of my friends did too. They also have more of a reason to watch your show now so I'm hoping they actually do it this time (for their sake). Also, I don't know how hard you took the crowd not responding a whole lot to your alcoholic punchline, but I loved that whole joke and you didn't say anything wrong. So thanks again for being cool about me invading your personal space before the show, because I knew that if I didn't make a move to talk to you then I'd regret it for probably the rest of my life. Plus, it makes a good story to tell people and maybe even one day when we meet again and I buy you a better flavor of soda. All in all, thanks for the show tonight Chris and thanks for everything you've done for me and for all of your other fans. You really mean a lot to us so keep doing your shit man. And I'm excited to see you keep getting bigger because you deserve it and you're a fucking rockstar. As is Shannon, Murf, Bethany, the Human Fish, the Greatest House Band In The World The LLC, Connor, Rob Malone, J.D., Mimi on the Hoops, and everybody else except that fuck Vacation Jason. And just in case Chris doesn't personally read this, can whoever does please show it to him? Hopefully it's obvious that I've spent a lot of time and thought on this whole message (I'm sorry about the length), and it'd be pretty cool if Chris actually got to read some of it at least. Thanks for your time and have a very good morning, Tanner
P.S. I'm sending a video of me awkwardly giving you the cherry coke and then quickly being told to leave by the student workers. I didn't know it was being recorded so I apologize about the quality but I hope you enjoy it as much as me. Thanks again Chris
CHRIS: Thanks for the soda my bro! Sorry they kicked you out immediately.