Don't Read This

Start the clock!

Except I don’t really know what to talk about because there’s so many things to talk about so I’m just gonna randomly pick the first thing that I start typing which is I had a wonderful evening with very good friends last night.

My friend Josh who I became friends with in LA but is also from Farmington Hills was visiting this weekend so he invited me and Abdullah over for a bonfire and also Josh’s girlfriend Abby who is the best was also with Josh so it was very exciting to be hanging out with some of my LA friends in Farmington Hills plus Josh’s friend and neighbor Mario whom I had heard of through other Farmington friends as well as social media also joined us a little bit into the night and it was an all round very positive hang out especially because we got to have an extended conversation about race, politics, and burning down the system which I haven’t been able to do in person with anybody other than Abdullah and my family so it was very satisfying to remember what having engaging conversations with people outside of my usual day-to-day was like and I take the whole experience as one positive to come out of all of the negative happening right now plus it’s even more exciting to know that this is just the beginning and I am already looking forward to continuing this conversation with other friends and family members ESPECIALLY those who don’t agree with me even though I know it’ll be more difficult but I hope that we can stay respectful and see each other’s sides of all of these issues popping up right now speaking of which I also joined the Detroit chapter of Democratic Socialists of America thanks to Audrey’s once-again fabulous monthly playlist which she used as an excuse to turn the album cover into a very cool “Join the DSA” PSA and so now I’m officially a Democratic Socialist although I don’t completely understand what this means which only means I’ve got lots of homework to do so that I’m not completely ignorant when somebody asks me about the whole situation and other than that whole political situation I also had the idea of transitioning my plans for a large documentary/mockumentary about our family and/or Tore which I was planning to release in the fall in connection to the Cipriano Classic away from a big complicated project like this and towards backing smaller weekly or biweekly vlogs and/or videos with Tore that would be similar to #toretalks because I’d like to emphasize the consistency of making them over the quality of each of them in order to relieve some of the pressure anxiety and stress that I would put on myself with the expectation that I have to make one big thing that’s the best thing anyone’s ever seen particularly because I’m the only one putting that pressure on myself so stop doing that Tanner and just relax and have fun because that’s the whole point of making anything especially with my brother is just to have fun making it and hopefully come out of it with something that makes us laugh once or twice and then who the heck cares what everybody else thinks and just be ready for everybody else to think not much at all and that’s ok too or if anything that’s exactly what I want them to think because then nobody else actually cares and I can just keep making dumb stuff just for me, tore, isabella, and my mom but also we need to make money to support all of tore and mom’s medical costs so that’s why I would be posting anything at all at this point because the more content we can make hopefully the more reasons people will have to keep supporting us so let that be the carrot in front of my donkey roll in order to keep me moving forward but don’t let it put too much anxiety on me that that’s all I’m worried about except I think this could be the perfect balance of making something for the love of art as well as the need for income because my family doesn’t really care what I make but my family is also the primary group of people that I would want to be a working artist for right now and also I’m feeling more and more like once this quarantine is over or even just whenever I go back to my own life of living on my own I would like to dive head first into trying to make it as a working artist so now that I know that’s how I feel it will be up to me to best prepare myself to make that 25-year long dream a reality…

Which is why I write like this for 15 minutes every day >:-)